Jesus, Please Break My Legs, if That’s What it Takes! A Cry to Christ from a Glocal Church Leader
As you can tell, it’s been about about two months since my last post. Juggling life, ministry, and my post-graduate studies have been tough, as I continually discover, and try to capture, the often elusive and essential virtue of balance!
However, even more so, I have discovered the spiritual discipline of ”brokenness.” Dying to myself (or being broken by Christ) and to my selfish and sinful nature…The following words have been my spiritual and life journey over the past couple of months…Nevertheless, I still proclaim “God is so good,” and “Christ is always more than enough,” even when I’ve been broken by Him.
Paul wrote in Romans 12:1 that we are to “offer our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God.” For me, that is the hardest part of living a faithful and obedient Christian life.
As Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Denying our complete selves, cross bearing, and offering ourselves as a living sacrifice are extremely tough disciplines of the Christian life. Even so, I find that it’s easy for me to offer my body, my life, as a living sacrifice, which should be holy and pleasing to God. However, at the first sign of true sacrifice, pain, agony, suffering, and real-life struggles, because of my life offering to Christ, I quickly recognize I’m the first one to crawl or leap off the altar, and flee to the comfort of complacency.
Most of the time I’m not willing to remain on the altar as a sacrifice, because it’s on that alter that God crushes me from all selfishness, self ambition, pride, greed, and on, and on…and that hurts! He crushes me for my own sake, so I can, in-turn, be humbly used by Him for His Kingdom and His church. I have discovered (the painful way) that it takes extreme courage, patience, and most of all, obedience, to place your life in the hand of the one who’s crushing you. Isaiah 53:10 states that it was God’s will to crush Jesus. Why? Because that’s what it took for Jesus to pay the price and bear the burden of our sin and shame, in order to reconcile us to God. In-turn, through that reconciliation, God provides us true life. The true life I mention is not a “health & wealth” or ”name & Claim it” life, like many so-called “men of God” preach. No! Jesus said we will suffer for His sake. If you have any questions or doubts about that fact, Just read Peter’s Epistles.
God’s will is to crush us, so we can be set free from the bondage of sin that weights us down. At that point we become renewed and refreshed, then we can truly serve Him faithfully and with legitimate obedience.
My prayer to Christ, however, is that He would break my legs, so I will not, at the first sign of angst, crawl, or flee from the alter, but remain on the altar as a living sacrifice, which is holy and pleasing to Him.
Are we really and truly willing to surrender our everything to God? Will we allow Christ to break our legs so we can remain obedient to Him and His Word?
Tough Questions often require courageous responses!
Bryan said,
March 30, 2007 at 9:39 am
Rich – I pray that you see the love and support you need, and desire, from Christ. I’m here for you too.
richsmith said,
March 30, 2007 at 11:53 am
Thanks Bryan,
It’s not that I’m necessarily being “crushed,” as in expressing it in an on-going trial. However, even more…the more I search the heart of God, through His Word and even through minutia of everyday life…the more I appreciate Bonheoffer’s concept and value of “costly grace,” in sharp contrast to “cheap grace,” which we are so eager to dispense to ourselves…It’s about a journey…
Phil Hunt said,
April 2, 2007 at 9:57 am
Rich: A mutual friend told me about your blogsite. I’m afraid that God would have to break both my legs AND my arms. Otherwise, I would find some way to pull myself off the altar. I want you to know that you are an inspiration to me. We are fortunate, indeed, that God called you to our church. I love you, brother.
richsmith said,
April 2, 2007 at 10:27 am
Hey Mr. Phil,
The concept of “breaking my legs” in order to remain obedient to Christ by staying on the altar came from an old song… almost 10 years old…The lyricist coined the phrase “I want to break my legs, In case of thought to escape.”
He didn’t want to follow his natural instinct to escape the call of Christ (when it involved suffering for Christ) which was his natural instinct. Instead, he wrote that he would resort to extreme measures to be used by Christ…I’ve prayed that, time and time again, over the past decade…Because, unfortunately, I naturally gravitate to cowardice and not obedience.
Nevertheless, thanks for your encouragement! I greatly appreciate it!
rick ray said,
April 3, 2007 at 11:26 am
Rich,
I feel like Peter when he said, “Lord don’t just wash my feet, wash me all over.” Break my legs, my spirit, my heart, whatever it takes to be a maximum Christian. Lord, continue to give me your joy for that is the source of my strength.
The sin of joylessness always results in works that are burned. Joyful service results in fruit that remains, the kind of fruit you desire us to bear for you.
Good word Rich. Thanks for bearing your soul.
richsmith said,
April 3, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Thanks for the encouragement Rick!
Attempting to live a sold-out, obedient life, fully devoted to Christ, is the most difficult, painful, trying, challenging, humbling, agonizing, and horrifying thing, especially as I look at myself in the mirror and see a coward not a warrior…However, It’s an enigma as well, because in spite of those overwhelming emotions and struggles, Christ always sustains me…and the most amazing part, is that just when I think of giving in, throwing in the towel, I mean Heck, there’s got to be more to this Christian life than suffering and angst…It’s at that point when The Gracious and Loving ABBA Father shows up and Rocks my world and says “Yes, Rich, there is…That reason is the life, death, and resurrection of my son Jesus. He conquered death not only so you wouldn’t have to, but also He turned you from my enemy to my friend!!!”
The more I travel this journey called the Christian life, and the more I read and understand, the more I recognize my ignorance…However, I keep an inexpressible Joy (one which I truly can’t define) amidst my suffering…and sometimes all I can do is lay prostrate on the floor and praise our mighty Lord and Savior!